


Secret postcard life

by sandyk



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: 3 aus, Abortion, Bi Jonah, F/M, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 16:41:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14524878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: 3 times Emma was never born and what Amy did.





	Secret postcard life

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to A. Not mine, no profit garnered. Title from the national, of course. As always this author is pro-abortion and so is this story.

Amy was nineteen when she drove herself to the clinic. She couldn't drive herself home, so she called her brother. Daniel was the world's worst driver at sixteen but she couldn't exactly tell her parents and she just didn't want to deal with Adam. She hadn't even told him she was pregnant. He didn't need to know. 

She told her parents she was definitely going to Northwestern. She told Adam, too. "I thought we were going to stay in St. Louis," Adam said. "We were going to make a go of this thing. You seemed psyched."

"I got into Northwestern," Amy said. "They're giving me financial aid. I love you, Adam, but. We're nineteen. I'm not ready, I'm sorry, I'm not ready to set up my whole life right now."

They had broken up even before Amy picked her major. Economics. She graduated with honors and went straight to Pritzker for her MBA. 

Amy interviewed a dozen places. She tried not to assume that all her internships and honors didn't really mitigate that she wasn't Amelia Smith, she definitely wasn't Allan Smith. Someone would want her. 

It was Cloud 9. She actually enjoyed it. Retail wasn't exactly on the upswing, but big box stores were doing better than that. She liked it. She put on her best pumps and she sat at her desk and she made decisions. Not super important decisions, but some of them mattered. She expanded the acceptable hairstyles to twenty. She spent three months crafting a maternity leave policy for associates that wouldn't hurt the bottom line and watched it get watered down to associates who came back to work within three months of giving birth could start back at their previous salary. 

She didn't really date much. She worked a lot. It was Chicago. She felt like all she met were creeps. "Sometimes I miss Adam," she told Daniel.

"You wish you'd had his baby?"

"Not in the slightest," Amy said. "I mean, I'm sure Adam would have been a great dad. But this is a pretty good life. I just kinda wish I could meet someone I really loved like I loved Adam."

"I loved a lot of guys like I loved the guys I met in high school," Daniel said. "So many fish in the sea, Sis. Look at that cutie, go ask him out."

Amy turned her head and followed Daniel's vague gesture. "Wait, the super hipster? The Jewish Kennedy?"

"Look, you don't want him, I'll put money on him being bi, I'd be happy to hit that. He has a great smile."

Amy rolled her eyes. "His smile could light up a room." She pushed herself off her stool, though. She was not letting Daniel win the possible bi boy competition again. 

"Hi," she said to the hipster. 

"Hi, wow, hi. You're saying hi to me," the boy said. "You're beautiful. Everyone says that, right?"

"No," Amy said, blushing. "But I spend a lot of time at work and it would be really bad if anyone said it there."

"Oh, yeah, sexual harassment. That's horrible. Very wrong. Where do you work?"

"I'm at the Cloud 9 headquarters, I mean, not one of the stores. I'm not wearing a vest. I just, you know, completely fail at getting maternity leave for the people wearing the vests," Amy said. She shifted in her shoes. She shouldn't have worn these stupid heels. 

"But you tried," the guy said, "Oh, um, I'm Jonah. Jonah Simms. I'm, um, between jobs, right now. I used to work at this, um, you know, independent news weekly online. We also did flash fiction. And poetry. But we ran out of funding. Which was the publisher's dad, he cut us off." 

"Wow," Amy said. "You sound like half my class when I was getting my MBA. Nothing personal, sorry."

"No, I get it, you think I'm rich and spoiled. You probably aren't wrong. I can't decide what I want to do with my life. But you know, if you want to condescend to me some more, I'm actually enjoying it," Jonah said. 

"I didn't mean to condescend," Amy said. She blushed. "Do you want to go somewhere to eat?"

"Absolutely," Jonah said. 

They didn't really get to any restaurant, Amy lived very close. Jonah was super respectful and didn't even ask about using a condom, he just pulled one out. They had really good chemistry. She came gripping his bicep, her thighs tight on Jonah's slim hips. 

She said, "Do you want to stay? Is there someone waiting for you? Are you cheating with me?"

"No, God, no. I haven't been dating for a while. You know, finding the right person is hard. I have trouble meeting people. This is actually the first time a gorgeous woman just walked up to me," Jonah said.

"You might be surprised to hear that I don't approach a lot of guys."

"I think we both did a good thing," Jonah said. He kissed her cheek. "I'd love to stay. But I do have my own place."

"Does your dad or you mom pay for it?" She stretched her arms up and smiled. 

"Right now, my dad. But I should look for work, stay in Chicago. I mean, if you might see me again."

Amy felt beautiful in her body, and present in her body for once. She said, "We should see each other again, totally."

!!!

Amy had been working at Cloud 9 for three years, ever since she got married. She'd married Adam because she was pregnant and then she and Adam had decided maybe they should wait to have a kid. She wasn't pregnant at the wedding. She got really drunk at the ceremony. 

Adam got a good job working construction and Amy decided to put off college. Just for a while. Adam was more important. Her parents yelled at her for three straight days and she refused to change her mind. 

Three years and she was regretting all of it. She sat in Glenn's office and said, "I think I'd be a great assistant manager."

"You would be, Amy," Glenn said. "You're so responsible."

Amy smiled more. "I am so responsible. And once I start as assistant manager, I can take some classes, college classes, so I can be even better."

"Who needs college?" Glenn grinned. "But maybe it'll be fun."

Adam didn't love the idea as she looked through the catalog and picked courses. She gritted her teeth. She'd given up college for him and now he was upset she wanted to go to college. She'd always wanted to go college. 

Her first class was awesome. She got an A, and she was suddenly super interested in maybe getting an MBA. Maybe she'd be a stock broker. "Adam thinks all these ideas are dumb," Amy said. She was having coffee with her sister. "I think he hates that I'm going to college." 

"Adam is a big baby and you let him be," Isa said. "Who cares what he hates?"

"I do, I'm his wife, I love him, remember?"

"You're so convincing," Isa said. 

The thought lingered. Amy blamed Isa, her younger sister was so flaky. Amy wasn't flaky at all. She was happily married, she was a good assistant manager, and she was doing great in her college courses. 

"You're never home," Adam said. "It wasn't so bad when you were just taking one class, but now you're taking two, and that seminar, and working and I never see you."

Amy sighed. "I'm trying to build our lives, to be something better."

"What happened to having a kid? I know we weren't ready when we were teens, but what about now?"

"I don't know," Amy said. She knew, though. She didn't want kids right now. She didn't want kids until she was a college graduate. If she told Adam that, it would be an argument. She was already tired of arguments.

Adam was the one who finally asked for the divorce. He said, "We tried. We didn't, didn't we? I want kids, though. I don't think you do."

"I do, just, just not now. But fine," she said. "Fine."

Glenn thought Amy must be so upset, sometimes Amy had to fake being upset. 

She was twenty eight when she graduated college, and she got into one of the best business schools in the country. She was just that awesome, she told her sister. 

Amy packed up her car and moved to Chicago. She got a very cheap place in a not great neighborhood with her brother. She wasn't getting a lot of money from her scholarships and it was really hard to save on a Cloud 9 salary. But she walked into her first day of class head held high because she deserved to be there, she'd worked for it. 

Half the students were assholes. Even the women. But she found a few people she didn't loathe. There was Gillian from Compton, Jose and Juan from New York City. And Jonah, who they all thought of as their token rich white friend from Chicago. 

"He's definitely smart," Gillian said. "But like, he's twenty eight and he's barely had any jobs in his whole life. He's severely lacking in real world experience."

"He wouldn't last a day at Cloud 9," Amy said. 

Jose said, "He would have done great at the bar I worked at. Huge tips."

Juan said, "Are you implying he's gay? Because I don't think he's gay."

"He's very pretty," Jose said. "And I bet he's half gay."

"You can just say bisexual," Amy said. "It's a legitimate identity."

Gillian said, "I love it when you talk like tumblr."

"I don't," Amy said. "I only look at it for the porn. I don't read anything else."

"Are we talking about porn?" Jonah sat down at their table with all his books and his wool blazer that was basically a blanket. 

"We were trying to decide if you're bi," Amy said. "Which is totally okay if you are."

"Oh," Jonah said blushing. "Why?"

"Because no one wants to study basic accounting principles," Juan said. "You don't have to answer."

"I am," Jonah said. "I mean, I'm bi, yes. I haven't dated in a while. But I would date a man or a woman if I were."

"Great," Amy said. "Can we all study now?"

So it wasn't necessarily surprising that after midterms when they all went and got drunk she found Jonah giving Juan a blowjob in the women's bathroom. "Women's bathroom, guys, come on," she said. "I need the stall."

"The next one is open," Juan said, his voice very breathy. She tried not to stare at Jonah's seemingly impressive technique.

After she peed and was washing her hands, and they were still going, she started loudly telling stories of all the people she'd walked in on having sex in Cloud 9 dressing rooms and bathrooms and photo labs. Juan shouted fuck a few times and after a few minutes they were both out of the stall, washing their hands. Amy offered Jonah the last of her vodka shot which he swirled around his mouth a little before swallowing. Juan patted Jonah's back and said, "Dude, you're great at that. You should get paid for it." He walked out with a little skip in his step.

Amy said, "I'm sure you can do more than be a prostitute."

"I support sex workers," Jonah said. "But I'm not one. Never have been. I don't think I have the stamina or constitution for it. Too much transactional emotional labor, frankly. I suck at that stuff. Also, you really walked in on a threesome at Cloud 9?"

"Yeah, but like, if you're picturing something where any of the participants were attractive, just stop right there," she said. "So, I guess Juan's not a reciprocating kind of guy." She looked away from his obvious boner. Which she'd already looked at. And was impressed by. 

"Juan is not so much gay or bi as someone who really likes blowjobs," Jonah said. "And I have to admit, I drink scotch, I want to suck dick."

"So your interests coincided," Amy said, giggling. "Why scotch, is that some sort of thing?"

"I was sixteen and this guy from the theater group stole a bottle of a scotch and gave me an amazing blow job, best of my life. God, I'm drunk," he said. "I'm sorry, this is a really awkward conversation. Plus, um. I don't want to keep talking about sex with men when you're the one in the group I want to have sex with the most."

"Me?" Amy blushed. "Me. You're so pretty. You could have anyone. I think two of our professors want to fuck you."

"That seems like a really bad idea," he said. "Having sex with professors. I don't think I can have anyone. I mean, I'm more than a pretty face. I'm smart, right?"

"You're brilliant," Amy said. "If we go into that stall, I'm really good at handjobs."

"But we can do it again, sometime, right? Not just tonight when we're both super drunk?"

"You're super drunk, I'm mildly drunk. I got all my super drunk out when I worked at Cloud 9, especially after I got divorced," Amy said.

"You were married?"

"When I was nineteen," Amy said. "I got pregnant and we decided not to have the baby but we got married anyway. Which was a mistake. We were more like date a few years love and not married for life love."

"Oh, sure," Jonah said. "I don't mean to push, it's totally okay if you've changed your mind, but there was a handjob? Mentioned?"

"We should so do that," Amy said, taking his hand. 

!!!

Amy had a super heavy period complete with her worst cramps ever when she was nineteen. She didn't think about until she was at college and went to the health center to get on birth control. She described her recent periods and the doctor said, "Were you sexually active at the time? Sometimes women miscarry without even knowing they're pregnant."

Amy briefly thought about Adam who was already dating someone else. It didn't seem that important. 

She wasn't sure what she wanted to do but she got a degree and started applying to anything that didn't seem too bad. She got a job as an assistant in an HR department and figured out she liked that. She took some extra courses and rose in the department. She saw a position in St. Louis, and applied immediately. She got the job and was thrilled to be back home with her family all around.

She ran into Adam who was already married with two kids. She didn't even think about her alleged possible miscarriage.

She met a cute beverage distributor. They started dating and she fell easily, simply in love. She had to polish up her Spanish a lot before the wedding but it was worth it, she could actually understand all the things his sisters were saying about Amy at the reception.


End file.
